BPD Breaks Under Criticism

I made a mistake.
A very silly minor mistake - it's not worth describing.

When I fuck up my rational brain knows what to do.
"You made a mistake. Accidents happen. Progress not perfect. Take a deep breath, clean up your mess. Then do the next right thing. You are loved and capable."

My BPD brain on the other hand?
"ABORT MISSION. KILL YOURSELF!
SOMEONE SAW IT! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED! They're going to laugh at you, yell at you, criticise you. Go into hiding or die before than can do that. Everyone hates you. You are a mess!"

The key isn't making the rational voice louder, but to give it the most attention. Then simply move on. I don't argue with the BPD voice, nor do I completely reject it.

I tell the BPD monster to drink some tea. That it's valid (and not living in reality). That I know it won't stop until it's ready. That I am going to focus on doing the next right thing instead.

Sometimes this battle is easier than other times.
However, I'm still alive today.

BPD GF