I know you're reading through these posts thinking, "God, I'm such a fucking mess! What's wrong with me? I'm insane! My life is so unmanageable. How could I possibly keep going?"
Remember this blog was created out of BPD Emotional Intensity.
Most of these are written during nearly psychotic episodes as a way to cope and avoid acting out. Yes. It makes us seen like a total mess.
Don't forget, there are lots of good things too.
Halloween was fantastic. You looked beautiful as a ghost, kiddo looked wonderful as a witch, and BF came in his usual incredible, kind state of being. He met M&J and has a seal of approval. Dad was human, and you were able to love him.
You had fun, laughed a lot, and felt connection - even during those moments of disconnect. BF stayed the night, and just cuddled. Intimacy without intercourse is valuable and healthy and wonderful.
You have a beautiful home.
A wonderful boyfriend.
An incredible child.
Lots of friends.
People who value you.
You have a life worth living.
There is a higher power who loves you.
I love you.
As I write this all is well.
As you read this, things may be different, and that's ok - All Is Still and Will Be Well.
Love,
Past You
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