Your phone was off the other night. Totally not a big deal, you work two jobs, you were probably sleeping, I don't have to talk to you every night.
The fun thing about this disorder is when insane thoughts kick in.
"What if he's ghosting me?"
"What if this is the beginning of the end?"
"What if he died?"
"What if he's with another girl?"
"What if he's in jail and I can't help him because in broke and don't drive?"
As if any of that is a possibility! You don't do anything reckless. You're probably the most boring, predictable, easy going human on the planet!
I had to talk myself down from a ledge I hypnotically climbed in my mind of abandonment horrors.
You spend time with me and Kid every week. You're gentle, funny, kind, thoughtful, you show an interest in me and my life. I know these thoughts are irrational, created by a BPD monster who wants to shut me down.
I cried myself to sleep, trying not to berate myself for crying for no rational reason. Then went on with the following day normal and cheery.
You're amazing, and I'm mildly insane, but I'm managing.
Love,
Your BPD GF
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